12 Ways To Cope With and To Protect Yourself from Overextension & Burnout
Perhaps giving your mind, body and soul the chance to rest and fuel up is all you need to feel better and more like yourself.
Feeling lethargic more than usual, snapping at loved ones and even strangers, skipping meals and losing weight, extreme anxiety, and other mental health concerns point to the fact that you may be overextended. And in this state, a lot could possibly go wrong, especially when you ignore the signs. Worse, the lack of awareness of what’s happening and all that is going wrong could be much worse.
The good news is that we now know the signs to look out for. But it is not enough, and so, what can we do about it? What are some of the things we need to implement to be okay, to have some semblance of balance?
- Recognize and admit that there’s a problem
Think of this as your first step in recovery, and as we all know, the first step in recovery recognizes that you have a problem. Because let’s face it, if you don’t start here or you’re still in denial, things will only worsen, or rather, you will feel stuck.
The beauty of this is that it changes your perspective in many ways, but most importantly, you will learn more about how the problem came to be in the first place so that you don’t have a repeat the same problem. You may find yourself in the same spot months or years later, but knowing and understanding what is happening allows you to take the right next steps for your success.
The truth is that I’m feeling a lot better today than I did last week or last Monday, and that is the case because I recognized that I was not just overwhelmed but also overextended.
2. Ask for help and delegate
I cannot say this enough, especially now that I know better and I’m actively trying to do better…. You cannot do it all alone, all the time, and be fine. Your batteries will run dry, and by the time you need to find jumpers to revive before recharging (hopefully, you won’t need to replace them), you will be run down. I have been at the super-low battery level, and though circumstances required me to push, I couldn’t push any further, at least not without help.
Granted, I’ll need professional help and guidance, but before taking that step, the mere fact that we got a few extra hands to help around meant that I could not only breathe for the first time in a while — and you all know how good that first deep breathe feels and the subsequent welling of your eyes. Doing this also allowed me to divert my attention to tasks that I had neglected and the ones requiring more mental input. So, even when you don’t trust people and feel like everything will fail without you in the driver’s seat, allow yourself to take your foot off the gas pedal and let someone else drive. The passenger seat gives you an excellent view of things, you know what’s happening, and somehow, you haven’t given up control entirely as the co-driver.
Let’s not forget that failing to ask for help is disastrous, and in this state, you probably wouldn’t have any other option by the time you find yourself here.
3. Pause
Take a beat. Sleep. Do nothing. Go for a walk if you can. Get a mani Pedi and your hair done. Whatever you do, pause. Breath. This may seem difficult at first, but with someone’s reliable help, allow yourself not to do anything for some days before you can launch back to the other things waiting on your list.
If there is one thing I will always swear by, it is sleep. Nothing beats good sleep. And with how you have extended yourself, you will be surprised with how much sleep you didn’t know you needed. Don’t be surprised if you sleep for 12–24 hours straight and still feel sleepy after.
4. Let food and water be thy medicine
We mentioned that you develop poor eating habits when overextended, and many times, we forget to hydrate. Try taking care of your body by slowly easing into it.
Most importantly, eat and drink mindfully. Savor your meals. Serve small portions and enjoy your food. This may be a struggle at first but listen to your body. Throw in healthy snacks and drink water periodically. Perhaps start with a glass or two every few hours, and whenever you feel like snacking on something, drink some water first. You don’t necessarily have to be on a feeding frenzy, but recovery and still needing to work means a well-fed, happy, nourished body. I’m still struggling here, though.
5. Do something fun
Whatever that is for you. A night on the town, eating out, dancing, hiking, etc… anything to increase your serotonin levels.
6. Journal
If you don’t have one already, start. Journaling, especially gratitude journaling, really helps re-center you, and it reminds you of how far you’ve come while fueling you for the day or days to come. It might require some getting used to, but it will be helpful.
7. Baby steps
As mentioned above, don’t be hard on yourself. You’ll still have hard days. And because you were used to the go-go-go speed, you’ll slip up. It’s okay. Remind yourself why you had to slow down and try again.
8. Pick up that fun passion project where you left
Remember that thing that always had your soul on fire, but you had to push it to the back burner for so long, wishing you could restart?
Since your schedule (and mind) have cleared up a little bit, pick that thing back up. But ease into it. You don’t want to overdo things or fail to have time to rest. The good thing about passion projects is that they leave you much more fulfilled at the end of the day, and you get to do that thing at your own pace.
9. Downtime
Perhaps it’s time to remind you to take breaks between tasks still. Set aside a little more time for fun, relaxation, and, more importantly, time to do nothing.
10. Daily Little Moments of Happiness
This is the other hard thing that you may need to focus on. But however hard it will feel, you may want to find little moments of happiness in your days, whether it is a child’s laugh or smile, a dog happily hugging you, an accomplished and submitted task, the smell of and first sip of coffee, etc. These are all small things that will make your life happier and more fulfilling.
Here is what Mel Robbins recommends — to make the change you desire, get the small things right.
“The little moments of happiness create happy days. These days turn to weeks, months, and years, all filled with happiness.” Mel Robbins
11. Stop feeling guilty about the things that are beyond your control
While trying to do everything right by you and your family and friends, you will have moments where you are overwhelmed by guilt over everything. And as someone who is always doing something for everyone else, with very little regard for yourself, feelings of guilt will always creep in. When this happens, allow yourself to feel all those feelings but don’t wallow in it, but afterwards, remind yourself that you will only be of help for others once you have yourself in near-perfect help.
Also, don’t be too hard on yourself for not seeing the signs earlier.
Overcoming the guilt from your past choices and mistakes is often the hardest part of moving on. — Joe Duncan.
12. Seek professional help
I hope that the above tips will help in the long run if we keep at them. But you may want to talk to a professional about things, mainly because your mental health takes the biggest hit when you’re overextended. If you can, get a therapist…. They have the tools you will need to navigate life and its challenges better. You may also want to take advantage of the numerous online resources — these are often very helpful because professionals live and work online today. Instagram has numerous licensed therapists and psychologists that offer essential and beneficial information.
Remember that we need to be healthy to take care of others and ourselves.
I hope that the tips above will help you become healthier and happier and that we will lead a life with more balance.
You will have to repeat doing these little things every day, even on the days when you don’t think you have it in you to go forward, but ultimately, self-care and self-love are every day projects.
Please let me know what you think!
